Saturday, December 06, 2014

Things you learn from working with metal

1. Patience
2. More patience
3. Even more patience.

It's almost Christmas... and I have a wishlist of metal working tools... the top of the list is a full face mask for grinding and polishing, and any real work...
I was reminded this week how important protection is when I was polishing a piece with a wire brush attached to the flex shaft of the dremel. Now, 32,000 rpms is quite a lot when you are thinking about it... and obviously I didn't. It hit home how much damage I could do when one of the members of a metalsmithing site posted a picture of what the grinding wheel did to her face... Protection first.
I wear eye protection all the time, and usually a mask, since the dust from all the stuff I do is dangerous... but I have been lax when I am cleaning up metal pieces.
A full face mask is very important if you are using a grinding tool.
Good eye protection is a must...
More than adequate ventilation is important.
Never take for granted that you are safe.
Never use chemicals like Hydrochloric acid indoors.

There are some items that are a must in the workroom,here are a couple of examples of what I want.

Pyramex Capstone Combination Goggles/Face Shield (1)

This beauty from PK Safety is made to withstand  debris and comes with a couple of extra visors so that you can tear them off when they get too scratched. It contours to your face, which I like... I like this, but I am worried about my forehead... so... I'm looking at other types.

 

 This is more what I am looking for. You would still have to use goggles since this is not rated for eye protection... but it is more in line to what I want. I am not being overly protective... you only have one skull you know, and a hit in the right place... well... I don't need any more added to or taken away from my brain, thank you. 

 

 

A good mask for your breathing is a very good idea, especially if you are using strong solvents, sawing any metal, or grinding metal, plastic, stone or shell.(2).. Copper especially is quite dangerous to your whole body, Shells, Quartz, granite and even common china dinnerware are quite dastardly if you breath the dust(3). The tiny particles enter your lungs and are deposited, they are then picked up by macrophages. When the macrophage dies, it releases the silica, since it can't digest it, and other macrophages enter and try to do the same... as explained in the pdf on Occupational Lung Diseases(4)... the process is repeated while more and more cells are being destroyed by the very mechanism that is supposed to help.

Copper is a wonderful metal to use, it is beautiful, lasts a long time, and it is readily available to use to learn metal work. I work with copper sheet a lot. I love the way it looks, the way it wears, and the patina that you can get with very little effort. I don't like breathing the dust. Even getting it on your skin isn't great, frequent handwashing is essential. Copper can give you symptoms of having a cold, but over time, it can damage your lungs, liver and eyes, as well as the skin. Special consideration should be given when working with any metal, but copper especially should be handled and disposed of properly. (5)

Stay tuned, Next blog, I'll go over some other metals and hazardous chemicals, as well as ventilation, fire retardants and other safety products in the workroom. 

 

1... http://www.pksafety.com/


.
2. Rom WN, Markowitz S, eds. Environmental and Occupational Medicine. 4th ed. Philadelphia,
PA: Lippincott Williams & Wilkins; 2007.



3. Oregon OSHA pamphlet. What you should know about silicosis and crystalline silica   http://www.cbs.state.or.us/osha/pdf/pubs/3301.pdf

4. 13 Occupational Lung Diseases http://thoracic.org/education/breathing-in-america/resources/chapter-13-occupational-lung-diseases.pdf

5. Occupational Health Guidelines for using Copper Dust and Mists http://www.cdc.gov/niosh/docs/81-123/pdfs/0150.pdf

Friday, November 21, 2014

Life as we know it

I suppose that we all go through ups and downs. Sometimes it seems that I am really down and just can't seem to get up.
Today is one of those days. I was feeling pretty proud of myself last week since I was able to do some extra stuff around the house... the first time in ages... and I thought that I would try to do a bit more every day. I was doing ok. Every day I add something extra... and I've gotten it done every day! yaaaaa! I had a set back on Wednesday, I was feeling pretty bad, I had stayed up trying to do some calls for the band boosters and got through some of the list and my eyes gave out. I taped them for bedtime, and have had to wear patches off and on since. It feels like a great ball of sand is under the lid of the right eye. I know it isn't.
So, there is a point to where I can stand just about anything, but this is crossing over that point!  I guess I'll have to go back to the eye doctor, as it seems to be worse every day. I'm trying to finish a piece and get it into the mail, it's all done but photographing it and wrapping it up. I was kind of proud of the finished product, even though it took me forever to finish.
Anyway, I'm feeling quite blue today, I feel like I've lost my best friend in the world and I'm kind of wanting to hide away... I might just do that, school is out for the week... I might just hide out for a while. Take it easy and just do fun stuff with my son for a while. I feel like he has been neglected lately. He's had tons of homework and we have been kind of busy with school and tennis. I guess that it is ok to pamper him for a bit.
Thanksgiving is next week. I wish everyone blessings, a warm place to sleep and food to fill you. Friends and family to give you love.
Peace.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

The Wagon

Welp, I fell off the "Wagon" today. "Fang" had a Tennis Tournament that started at 7:30 am.... That's MORNING... and today is Saturday! SATURDAY!!!  In civilized countries, that means sleeping time...
So, today, for the very first tournament... at 7:30 AM... it was nice and very chilly. We live in the desert for crying out loud... it is never chilly here until the end of October. OK, so chilly in my books is 55F and I suppose that is what it was this morning, cause I was cold. I made myself coffee really without thinking about it. I put it in my nice pink thermal cup with the lid... has a nice pink ribbon on the side of it... and packed the leftover chicken, cucumber slices, sliced apple, sliced plums, yoghurt, and some rolls... and called it lunch.
I started drinking my coffee... the forbidden liquid... on the way to the match. I looked at my cup and went... oh, man...
It was good.
Back to square one tomorrow. cause I had sugar in it as well...
By the way, there were five Junior High schools competing today... Fang came in 4th ...big smiley face!

Monday, October 06, 2014

Sugar withdrawal

Please use tab above to find the "List of 31 Days Posts" and follow along with the series.

Today is my second day in Sugar withdrawal. I read a blog by a lady that is banning sugar from her life and I thought... I've been needing to do this for so long!
 The blog is called 31 Days Sugar Sober and is such a wonderful blog... today is the second day for me, I had wanted to start reading the first day, but missed out in all the rush of figuring out how to make buttons and links and writing blogs and... sigh... I forgot that I was going to start off the month of October kicking the "habit" that is so deep in my soul right now.
I've pretty much done this before. Not in a healthy manner usually, it is usually like 6 years ago, I just quit eating.  6 years ago I didn't do it to lose weight. I did it because I was grieving. I just didn't eat, and I quit caffeine for the most part because I didn't have it in me to make coffee or tea or go to the store to get soda. I lost a ton of weight and I felt physically better and worse. Sadly, off and on my whole adult life (and teen years) I have just quit eating to lose weight. It is honestly the only way I can start losing. After a few weeks of practically starving, my body kicks in and I start losing, and I feel better and start back eating tiny amounts. I know this isn't good, but it worked for me.
  Don't judge. I can look back and see pictures of myself, thinking at the time that I was fat... realizing that I was overly skinny, especially in my High School Graduation pictures. I know what it leads to... and I know how my low self esteem was picked up by my daughter and she did the same thing...

This time, I am going to do it right. I haven't stopped eating, I am not mourning nor do I want to just lose weight, I want to be healthy.  I am putting away both caffeine and sugar at the same time, so pray for me... no, scratch that... pray for my family!

I don't eat a lot of sugar to start with, I don't crave sweets, but I do crave soda. I love Dr. Pepper, Pepsi, heck, I'll drink Coke if it comes down to it. I am from Texas so I love Sweet Tea with lemon or lime, and I will drink hot tea in the morning, coffee... not espresso, but I love milk coffee and will drink a whole pot if I'm left unattended.

So, how's it going?

I can't really say it is going well. I have the normal headache from the lack of caffeine in my body, but I am trying to drink more water and unsweetened cranberry juice. I have been sick for a couple of weeks and I can't quite tell if it is the withdrawal from caffeine or the medicine that is making me feel funky. I usually have a couple of weird days of my body rejecting the germs and fighting for health and I usually go to bed and recover after going to the doctor... but I haven't had that option this go round...

 Yesterday I had tea for breakfast, but it wasn't Tea, tea... it as an apple and cinnamon tea that didn't really have any "tea' in it.  I had a tiny bit of raw honey in it, which  I will allow myself to have, in minute quantities. I felt like I need a bit of something sweet and if it is raw honey, not some corn syrup mixed, processed honey... that would be ok.  YECK!  I am not a raw honey fan... so maybe it would be better just to knock out the sweet altogether? I find that I am not so much 'raw' fan at all. I keep trying to drink the algae stuff Kombucha... blech. It is so hard for me to drink it. I'd rather have our tap water... big blech.

I can drink Iced Tea without sugar.. .but can I go without Iced Tea?  I think October is going to be a good month to start down this path. It is blissfully cool this year, we've had a wonderfully wet September so I think that will help out.  I drink more tea in the Summer than anything. October just seems right. By the time Halloween comes around, my body will hopefully be  out of withdrawals and my son is too old to go trick or treating for candy... so no problems, right?

Except for November... and December....  all the food and all the parties... cookies, pies, and... I can do this. It isn't like I eat a lot of them... but when it is the holidays, I want to have pumpkin pie... pecan pie... sugar cookies. At least one piece of each. I am pretty good about that.. .it is the pumpkin spice coffee that is my downfall, with lots of creamer and a dollop of whipped cream... that is what gets me.
 ....mmmm... coffee....

Six years ago, I lost 50 pounds not trying to. I ended up being tired, sick and having huge eye problems, but I 'felt' good. You know, people were complimenting me on how I looked, they were all intended to be nice, but I think about it, and I'm kind of angry. Why is it that we judge beauty on how tiny a person's waist is? This is what got me in the boat I am in now. Surviving on caffeine and sugar because I wouldn't eat... I had to have energy, so I would have a Dr Pepper to get my blood pumping... and in the long run, I became addicted to it. I gained weight over the years, because in the end, when you have kids, you cook, you try to eat with them, you try to set an example... but you keep drinking the soda, the sweet tea,  the flavored coffee... and you gain weight.
It is in the back of my mind that I can't quit eating... I can eat right. Substitute fruits and vegetables instead of breads and meats,... or in a better proportion, which I have been doing since the whole celiac thing .  I can choose to not have soda, not have sugar... the corn syrup is the part that is so addicting I think. It is so sweet and gives you that high... that sugar high that makes your body crave more...

mmmm... pumpkin pie....

Ok, so most of my friends drink diet sodas and tell me, oh, just have this soda... it's diet... but... I have never liked drinking diet sodas. I never liked the taste, or the after taste.  I am afraid of the chemicals {1}anyay, Erythritol is a sugar alcohol that is used with Stevia or by itself and Sulphite Amonia Carmel is used as a coloring agent... urgh!!!  Some studies actually show weight increases even with use of artificial sweeteners  {2}. So I'll opt for those studies that show that dropping sugary and artificially sweetened drinks altogether and just say no!

That is such a hard thing to do. It is like quitting an old friend. And how on earth can you go to Rosa's Cafe without having Sweet Tea with a lime in it, or a nice, refreshing Dr. Pepper with a lime?

I know, right? It is just not going to be the same. But... while I am at it, maybe leaving Rosa's behind would be a good thing as well? What we eat there can't be good for you. I have been trying to push having vegetables, fresh vegetables, for meal time anyway, and Rosa's just doesn't have anything more than a bit of lettuce and some chopped tomato if you are lucky. the Guacamole doesn't count, that is unless you intend to eat a whole container of it... then you are eating a whole bowl of corn chips. That can't ever be good.

Is there anything that you eat or drink that you know is bad for you? Is there a solution to eating it that doesn't make you cranky or craving?
I'd really like to hear how you have managed to kick a habit... or, if you are wanting to... what method will you use?



1.  Center for Science in the Public Interest- http://www.cspinet.org/new/201102161.html
2.  Bellisle F, Drewnowski A. Intense sweeteners, energy intake and the control of body weight. Eur J Clin Nutr. 2007;61:691-700.


3.  Harvard School of Public Health- http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/carbohydrate-question/#sugar-alcohol

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Yankee Legends

Derek Jeter's last


I have to tell you , being a Texan, I grew up on Texas Rangers baseball, but the Yankees always held a place in my heart... What's not to love? It is the home of legends... and when Jeter signed on... who knew he would be in the same books with those legends like DiMaggio, Mantle... Ruth... Gehrig.
There have been others.Reggie Jackson, Bernie Williams, Roger Maris, ARod ( I suppose he won't ever count, but he was really good) Many have played, some forgotten, like Tony Lazzari who was a second baseman for the Yankees, even though he still holds the record in the American League for the 11 runs he drove in in ONE game in 1936, or that he still holds the Major League record for recording and RBI in 15 consecutive games. The name is forgotten.
Do people still remember stats? I don't, I can't even remember my phone number half the time, there are so many numbers running through my head. War of 1812, Columbus sailed the ocean blue, in 14 hundred and 92. My social security number, My kids social security number. My mother's... sigh. I've never been good a numbers anyway, but trying to remember how many home runs Roger Maris had in his single season best that beat Babe Ruth's... 61, by the way. Or that Lefty Gomez, the Yankee's pitcher threw 28 shutouts. That Mickey Mantle had a .353 batting average. Or, that Yogi Berra wasn't a cartoon character, but a really great backstop for the Yankees who had 10 World Series titles under his belt.

The game just isn't the same now is it? Maybe it has gotten better? Maybe it has lost some of it's luster, though. Sure when Mark McGwire was beating records, one after another they went, he was like the golden boy with a career 583 home runs. When he and Sammy Sosa were locked in this battle of stats, back and forth, Sosa just trailed McGwire, but all in all, it seems that was tainted. Can the kids look back and say it was all skill? Jose Canseco rocked the whole country with his tell all book in 2005. Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant 'Roids, Smash Hits & How Baseball Got Big. Bring down the game, bring down the players, and bring down a dream.  
Baseball doesn't seem like America's game any more. 
At least, to me, it seems like just the jaded, scandal-ridden, professional sport that is just there to make the money. Legends fall and are forgotten, no one remembers what it was like to have the local team be the representative of your dreams and aspirations. Guys like Mantle were looked up to, emulated and loved. 
I don't want my son to be an athlete. 
But there was that hope in Jeter... He seemed to be one of those guys that put his love for the game first. He was always respectable. He was always professional. He was lovable and worthy of respect. Kids should emulate him.
Jeter ended his career with  3,465 hits, in Boston of all places and a 9-5 win over the Red Sox. Derek Jeter said goodbye and headed into the locker room for the last time as a player. Earlier, the Red Sox had presented him with a piece of the famed Fenway, a piece of the "Green Monster" that had white lettering spelling out "Re2pect".  I think that says it all.



picture from gazette net . com

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

31 Days in October

Yipee! 31 Days is back in October!
If you don't know what 31 Days is  then you have been missing out! 31 Days is an online writing challenge that was started by Myquillyn Smith (The Nester) 
 It is each day in October, a blog a day, you choose the topic and write about it...There are 9 categories such as Inspiration & Faith and Personal Endeavors, and you can actually pick what ever it is that you want to write about...
At first I thought it would be great to pick something that was going to be super easy to write about, maybe like jewelry or something like a bible quote a day... something that is a no brainer... but why? Why would you go to the trouble to join a challenge without the challenge part?
Sooo.... I am not positive, but I thin my blog is going to be 31 Days of Vision...
What is that?
You are just going to have to come back and visit to see what it is going to be. and... let me tell you, it won't be what you expect every day. I intend to take the blog  to a place that I haven't been to in quite a while, and if you have not read my blogs from years ago... then you will not know where I can lead!

So, come back for the month of October, enjoy reading as the blog dares to delve into Vision. Hope you enjoy it, and maybe join along with a blog of your own, if you try it, you will never give it up. Blogging is such a sweet relief to stress and to that pent up creativity that is running around in your head. Don't worry that it isn't going to be 'good enough', that isn't going to be an issue here, it won't matter if it isn't professionally written, it matters that you are enjoying the experience, that you are looking into yourself and drawing that part of you out that you know is in there... It is a chance to study, to research, to think, to dream, to experience new things... Come on... you know you want to jump in... Just do it!

Monday, September 01, 2014

Labor Day Weekend

So today is Labor Day, doesn't mean as much now as it did a hundred years ago, not even 50 years ago, but it is a nice respite from the day to day... It is not inconvenient that shops are closed....unless you need to buy  the Band kit for school tomorrow, then you are out of luck. We, unfortunately, in the buying of all the other stuff that "Fang" needed for his 50 other classes (yes, I know it is only 7 classes) we forgot to stop by and pick up the kit... We do have the Cornet ready to go. The trumpet is a no go, it still isn't fixed, but maybe later on he will use it. So, I suppose he will be behind a bit? I don't honestly know what the band kit is. I would think it is the clip on music holder, which we have... and maybe cleaner? or who knows...
The first week of school went fine, the first two days were orientation, they went over and over what they wanted the kids to do, indoctrination at it's finest. Will my child obey? Yes, probably so, lockstep with all the other good little GT kids, and I will be happy that he has done so. I act like I am so wild and free, but I was one of those lockstepper as well. I was the good girl, and I just kind of expect him to be the same.... My daughter.... not as much so. She was a great kid, don't get me wrong, but she did have some backbone.

Awww, don't get your knickers in a twist... I would never tell my child to rebel.. but secretly I think I was proud of my daughter for standing up for what she saw as right, even if I didn't agree, she had her principles. My son does as well, but he probably won't say a whole lot.

Good news... he didn't poo in his pants, not once the whole week... lol... we had a good laugh when I asked him if he found the bathrooms and his locker and classes ok, he said yes, I asked if the bathrooms were nicer than his old school... he said I don't know.... why? I ask, ... he says that he didn't go in,..... me~ why? He says that he didn't need to go.... oh, good, then you didn't poo in your pants... LOL... we both laughed.

I made breakfast every morning, and lunches, which he didn't eat the first two days... He said he wasn't hungry, but I am thinking that he just was nervous. Most likely that was it, he said the first day he sat alone, the second his friend from down the street ate with him, I don't know about the rest of the week, he ate, but he didn't elaborate... I am so nervous for him. I want him to have friends, to be popular, to not feel shy... I was, and am... so shy. I know I don't come across as it, but... I am so awkward at making friends. I grew up at a time when bullies were everywhere, and I moved with my family to new schools and I was doomed.

 I was shy, kind of awkward, and I just didn't talk like everyone else.  Kids would "befriend" me just to make me talk to them, which I did, and they would make fun of my accent... or how I dressed, or how I looked... Junior High was wonderful/torture.... I had some friends that were great and  I am still in contact with today, and some 'friends' that were so mean to me. I saw one person on Facebook that I sent a friend request, since I remembered her so well, and she is friends with some of the other ladies that I am friends with... and then I thought about why I remember her so well.... she was so mean to me. UGH... I revoked my friends request...

I know I am over protective, but I want my son to not have those hard times... but.... isn't that what gives us character? I learned....ever so painfully.... how to deal with bullies. It took me a long time, and a lot of heartbreak... but I can deal with them, politely, efficiently, and with little pain now.  My son will have to face that in his own time... and this will be his proving ground.  Hard as it is for me to watch....
I don't think my mother noticed that I had problems in school... My older siblings were so different, they were strong willed and like my older sister, were pretty socially accepted... me, not so much... I was the nerd, the geek  in class... I had my nose in books too often, I was absent a lot, and when I was at school... I actually enjoyed learning so I was not in the crowd with the kids that were 'cool' so much.... I skipped school with a friend in junior high, one time... it was rebellious I know... but I regretted it after a few minutes... I was ready to go back to class!!! That was pretty much it for me.
I always say that Junior High was hardest for me, but then we moved when I was in High School, it was  horrid. I felt tremendously out of place, and it was pretty obvious that I would never fit in to that school... I did make a couple of dear friends, that I am still in touch with, but for the most part, I was an unknown. I kept my head down, nose in books... I did join a lot of clubs. Junior Classical League, Latin Club, French Club, Spanish Club, FTA, Masque and Scroll, I was even an officer in Choir, but I doubt that anyone remembers me...
My husband and I went to school together, and honestly, I remembered him, and he remembered me... How... I have no idea... It was a huge class, it was a huge school, chances of us meeting were slim to none... and we didn't have any classes together, I took language and had to make up a Health class because they wouldn't transfer my Science classes... So we never talked...we never hung out at the same events...He and some of his friends did come through one place I worked, laughing and joking and not noticing me...  we never had anything to do with each other, but I wish every day that we had. After 20 years, it was nice to really meet him, to know him, to love him... I want my son to have someone that he has grown up with, that he shares some wonderful memories with to marry.... sigh.... my husband thought it would be wonderful as well, we talked about it when "Fang" was in kindergarten, that maybe he would fall in love with one of the sweet girls in his class and marry them some day... Yes, we were already planning back then, and I still tell him every now and then what he should look for in a wife. Patience, kindness, virtue, all the things that help in a relationship. And someone who loves him dearly ( and can tolerate his mother).

All will be right in the world.... school will pass quickly, college... career, family... it will all happen in the blink of an eye... and I will be happy. Happy that he grew up so well, and that he will be happy... with kids of his own to reminisce about his junior high days... and how miserable/happy he was.


Monday, August 25, 2014

Junior High School and my son's sense of humor

So it is off to school this morning... first day of Junior High for my baby boy... the last of the litter... sigh...
We started off really well, breakfast and teeth brushing and no wrinkles in the clothes... and hair ... perfect....
My son got ready for school an hour before time to go... I went over the fine points again... those things I have been drilling into him since Kindergarten... no running, write down your locker number and the combination... don't lose your id card... eat your lunch... don't share your locker... never give out the combination... don't just give a half smile and expect the teachers/staff/kids to just know that is your greeting... say hello.... be polite... talk to your friends... bu not in class...

OK, I'm nervous for him...

I told him again what the principle told us the other night, that they expect him to do what they tell him, when they tell him, and to do it the way they tell him...  We're not in elementary anymore, Toto...

Like I need to tell him 90% of this, but he is forgetful, and I am so afraid he will forget his locker number or combination, because that is the most important thing... and the most likely thing he will forget....

So, my friend Kevin drove him to school since I still can't drive. I asked to go along, since I am having anxiety and since the the school is further away than the elementary just down the street... and drop off is dramatically different... We can't walk to and from school now, and he will have athletics early at a different location except for the first two days of school..... sooooo.....
On the way I asked my son what he was going to do today, expecting him to recite what I had told him about the locker....
His reply..

... Not poop in my pants...

So he is OK... he has his humor in tact.... He got me to laughing so hard I nearly peed my pants.... Kevin is shaking his head.... and I am thinking that it is all going to be ok.

I have to go back to work today... earnestly try to catch up on my goals for the month, and try to keep focused on work and not on the clock...though I have the alarm set and will be ready to go back to the school early... not sure why early... but I don't want to be late.   I'll probably bake some cookies, not that he will eat any, but I feel like the first day needs something special... Maybe a toasted cheese sandwich?

So, I'll let you know if the day went well, and if the locker/ combination/ id card are safe... and how the dog reacted to him not being home all day... she usually paces down the hallway a few times to his room when he is gone.  This morning... meh... I think she is tired.  She has just been laying around.


Saturday, August 23, 2014

I've been neglectful of this blog, very much so.

I used to write in my blog nearly every day, but it got to be very sad and full of my own self pity... I quit writing pretty much.
 I at least didn't publish what I wrote...
now that blog is gone and I am really sad. I lost all that was on it.
 I didn't keep anything on paper, and my computer fried, quite literally... and anything I had on it is gone.  That poetry, the postings, whether they were pitiful or not... were mine.
What I wrote was me. What I was feeling, what I wanted to say, what I wanted to let out of my soul.

My husband died suddenly, and way too young. I hurt to my core... I can't even begin to say how much it hurt... there is no quantifying the pain....

It happened at a time that was extremely trying for me personally... after the loss of several loved ones... and at a time that I was very ill... to say the least, I was personally devastated. I felt lost and alone... and had to start my life from nearly scratch again... with a young child... I was terrified as well as heartbroken...

My daughter urged me to write. I did... my blog became a sort of lifeline... whether anyone read it or not, it was a way for me to cleanse my soul of the dark demons and the tears.... and it helped me some. I wrote poetry to my husband... I cried as I did. I wrote poetry to my heart... and I cried as I did... I wrote about what the kids did that day... and I cried.... you get the idea... I cried my way through a whole year...

After a year or so, I finally started to be able to not cry when I wrote anything. The quiet nights weren't so terribly painful... and I was starting to be the person that I had once been... not whole, but more intact than I had been since my husband's passing... and I was able to breath without the sobs...

 I was able to think more than one thought at a time without thinking of him....

 and I realized that I was going to go on without him... though I didn't want to... He was my rock... my foundation, my courage and strength... He completed my being...  We had not had enough time together, we had not done the things we had set out to do... to grow old together, to laugh and love more than ever possible... and... well... just to be together...

There I go again.... crying....

So, I quit writing when I started this blog... I kept it to more of my jewelry, but I just had to include what we were up to...kind of like it had to be written, I tried not to put too much personal stuff in, but it is me writing... and I just can't help myself...  I start writing and boom... there it is...

I don't take as many pictures of my jewelry lately... it has all been of the kids, since they are growing up too fast... I want to keep track of them, but I don't want to post here... but Lori Anderson had a blog hop that let you kind of do both... show what you made and write about someone that inspired you or that you wanted to remember with that jewelry... That was wonderful! I remembered my Mom, who is still with us, but is getting older and less present every passing day... I liked that... being able to feel free to post something about someone that I love... and not feeling guilty about it...

If you haven't read Lori Anderson's blog, Pretty Things... well, you have missed out... she has blog hops, and writes about jewelry, and.... she has been writing about her journey in the abyss of illness.... She is talented and funny and has a wonderful creative streak... and she has a heart...

Recently, she has been under fire by people who don't want to hear about illness... and, well, my opinion is.... if you don't want to hear about it... don't read. Simple as that solution.

I decided last night... that I am sad that I don't write. Not that I want to write about any illness... but I might... Not that I want to write about anything personal... but I might... Not that I want to write about my family, but I might.... I think writing is good for the soul. It is the last bastion for our creative/personal/soulsearching/gutwrenching/purging/gloriously satisfying outlet... And it should stay that way. If you happen to read a blog and don't like it... move on....

I have read blogs that remind me of someone or something... and I might write about it... I read someone's blog about their father... and it was ME!!! it was my father that she was talking about.. I don't even remember who it was... but I loved that it reminded me so much of my father... I wrote about him, and I am sure someone out there thinks... she is plagiarizing... but I wasn't.... it was my father... down to the T... and I put it into me... I am sorry if someone didn't like it... but... that was what I was thinking about.... Not jewelry... not creating.... but my dad.

Tonight, I am thinking about school....  Junior High to be specific... not from someones blog but because my son is starting to school on Monday morning.... and this is the last free weekend that we will have... I am afraid until he is out of college... Oh, I know, he will have tons between now and then, but will he? Will he want to spend them with me?  I feel like he is grown up... We had orientation on Thursday night... and the Principle told me that my son doesn't want me to come to eat lunch with him... and that he is going to be fine... and responsible.... OK, so she was talking to the group of three hundred parents (give or take a few) and not exactly to me... but that he is growing up and will be ok... I have to take that as true... and keep telling myself over and over again.. it will be ok... it will be ok....

My own Junior High experience still haunts me to this day... It was the general 7-9th grade experience that most kids have... with the crazy schedules... feeling awkward, sticky locks on lockers... running to classes through overcrowded hallways,... trying to stay away from bullies... trying to live through gym class... trying to figure out boys... trying to grow up... trying to fit in... wanting to be a kid/grownup all in the same minute...

I want to homeschool my son....

I want to build a cocoon around him and not let him out until he is maybe 30?

Sigh...

I suppose he will start school on Monday and he will love the experience... he will have fun and have tons of friends, and he will excel in his classes and golf and band... and will go on to High School and do the same... and then college... and then in his career... and marriage... and kids... and my heart wants that for him... I want him to be the best he can be... and to let the sky be the limit. He has the heart and brains to be what ever in life he wants to be... with a little effort, he will be great!!!

and I miss him already... but in a good way... He is growing up. He is doing what he is supposed to be doing...

sigh....

So...

For me... I am going to start writing again... for me... to help me over the anxiety... to help me over the bad days that I am not able to do anything .... for me on the days that I feel creative and just want to write...

Sorry, if you don't want to hear any of that... please move on... I will... And think a bit about how you treat each other.... kindness is a rare commodity nowadays... to give it is such a sweet gift...


Friday, July 11, 2014

I know it is last minute, but go by http://www.prettythingsblog.com/2014/07/calling-all-seed-beaders-book-giveaway.html and sign up for the free beading book giveaway! Lori Anderson is graciously giving away this book and it is a great one!!!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Summer at last!

If you are here for BSBP8---Please scroll down one post :)
If not...



Summer is finally here and with it come all sorts of surprises! Like…
We had a rattle snake in our back yard…
Tons of rain and hail all within an hour…
12 year old’s birthday party- ice skating and dinner followed by arcade…
Ok, so the birthday wasn’t a surprise, but the ice skating was… I hadn’t planned on doing much of anything for this birthday, it is sadly on the same day as it was 6 years ago when my husband passed away. My son asked to have the party at the house, but I used every excuse in the book not to have it here. In the end, we did bring all the kids back and they had a really fun time playing outside with the Nerf guns and then a quick football game, then it rained… and hailed…
Not much else on the homefront, I have been working bit by bit, doing some metal work, wanting to teach my son as much as I can but sadly he really isn’t that interested. I started him on chainmaille last December and thought he was really excited about it, but….
So, I have been cutting out earrings and pendants out of copper and brass, doing as many as I can  and then working on enameling them or maybe just putting a patina on them. I like enameling but I’m not that great at it. I just can’t seem to get the right temperature for the right amount of time with the torch and I have a small beehive kiln that is great, but… I am pretty messy, I got  a little bit of glass powder on the brick and fused my pendant onto the brick… sigh… I just don’t know how to keep it from shifting when I place the piece into  the kiln. Either placing it on the brick when it is open or using a little metal spatula… I just can’t seem to keep it steady or not bump it with my finger or drop it… ugh… I just don’t think I have what it takes to do enameling. Maybe I could swap out with someone that loves enameling and doesn’t like to do something I can.  I am getting better at sawing. I have been practicing a lot. I know I have a long way to go but it really is getting easier.
I don’t have a picture to post of the work in progress… well… OK , so I do, I am just too lazy to get up and find my camera.  I am so sleepy right now. I have had a headache all day for the past two days and the birthday party didn’t help. I haven’t slept well in a while and I am getting a bit cranky.
If I get up in the morning and am not as cranky, I’ll put a picture up with this. … don’t hold your breath!!!

I like the way the skulls turned out... they will be necklace and earrings
So.....here are a couple of pics...
Don't laugh! My first try with this enamel... on copper, one of my first sawed pieces.

I added silver dimensional paint to this for his collar

I was going for a orange and yellow color scheme here... more yellow here.