Sunday, September 15, 2013

Dust Bunnies and Duck Dynesty

bedroom after part of canopy taken down
I've been not working for so long that I am climbing the walls. I had internet and phone problems and let them talk me into going digital... which meant that I had to clean house... sweep the dust bunnies that look like the were-rabbits and clean the mound of paperwork that I have neglected... off my desk. Well, it didn't end there. The first set of cute cable guys didn't install the system where I could use phones through  the whole house, me, didn't know, or rather understand, what they were doing or not doing... so I had to have them come back out... except it wasn't the cute cable guys, it was a not so cute, not so nice, and my dog didn't like.. cable guy, who didn't understand why I wanted more than one phone.... and then he told me that I could get phones that work off one...duh, yes, I know, but I don't want to buy a new phone system right now, I told them I wanted my old equipment to work...

OK, so he asks where the phone is hooked up at... well, the kitchen was the first place and then they plugged into the bedroom, and that is where the equipment is... so he tells me, you'll have to move your bed out from the wall... since that's where the plug is... right smack dab in the middle of the headboard.
So... he says that is probably why they didn't do the work in the first place... Well.... they unplugged my old line they could have at least said something. We have 6 lines in the house, which not all of them are where I want a phone, but darnit, if I want a phone there, that is where it should work....

So... he reschedules me.

I took apart the canopy to the bed, cursing every step, and believe me, if I knew or could use more curse words... they would have come in handy. I only have a few in my vocabulary, and I might have made up some of those, but I could have used a broader set of words to curse that oversized monstrosity. I found that I hadn't cleaned all the dust rabbits either. And I found the stones to a ring that my daughter had given me one year for my birthday, one of those interchangeable rings.... so the venture paid off... The stones had fallen out of the box I guess, and got caught on this little ledge on the bedframe. I suppose that the two missing still were sucked up in the vacuum.

The next cable guy that came out was a bit cuter, and my dog really liked him... he stands on the porch and asks me if this order is right... His work order said to fix a crooked face plate....

What?

bedrom after cleaning and painting I didn't put the canopy back on... I like this
Yep, that was his work order, so I go into the whole story, which is now ingrained in my mind so I can recite the whole scenario to whomever wants to listen.... and some that don't..... so I get finished and he says.... I'll have to charge you for that....

WHAT???

So I call the office and start in on them... in the meanwhile the guy fixes my cable, and then he tells me that if he fixes the problem, he won't be able to put a phone in the bedroom.... What???????
So I am going up the ranks at the cable office, first I got Austin, they gave me to their supervisor, who in turn had to talk to the supervisor, and gave me to the office in Odessa... because that is where the tech was from... and I was on hold.... the tech came in and said....
I can give it a quick fix and I won't charge you for it, and you can keep your phone in the bedroom....

He said, just tell them I didn't do anything and they won't charge you either....
So with a splitter and a new cord and some creativity, I have working phones and didn't get a charge.... I love that guy.... And if I was 20 years younger.... I would have asked him out on a date....

That has been the highlight of my month thus far....

I entered my necklace into the challenge Blogger/Non-Blogger, but I am the only one that voted for my necklace... I am bummed. It is so hard for me to put my work out there for people to see.... I just don't want to be judged at all... and that is a hard thing. I have so many reasons not to want to put myself out there.... so many reasons that I want to be private.... I have had such a hard time just letting myself be seen. Physically and metaphysical, I just haven't wanted to just allow myself to be seen.

I know a lot has to do with my ex, who judged me harshly and incessantly, and with my husband's one sister-in-law that has been so very mean and vicious over the past 5 years... ah, who am I kidding, My husband couldn't stand her for a long time before his death, but since then, it has been pretty brutal.  But the truth is, I have been judged all my life. If I am honest, it has made me who I am, Kind of cowering and in the shadows as much as possible. I never wanted to be called on in school, I never wanted attention. I wanted to be part of things, like clubs and choir... but I wanted to be part of the group and not to stand out in any way.

Does that make sense?

Nope, not in the slightest. I was Historian for the Junior Classical League in High School and the Area representative for the Texas State Junior Classical League... and Secretary in the Women's Choir in
High School, then on into college and after,  I was on the governing boards of a number of organizations, actually until just the past few years I have been out there, doing what I like, but I try to keep under the radar.... It is contradictory, I know, but that's me.
Matter of fact, that I write a blog that is public is rather contradictory. I have written for 5 or 6 years now, but I kept it semi-private. In the end, I made everything very private... but now, I am saying to Hell with it, those people that want to snoop on me, have a ball.... If you think that you can somehow hurt me more... have at it....
So.... mystery solved... or at least part of it. This is me....
I am pretty hard on my friends, and for that I am a bit ashamed. I pretty much won't tell anyone about my past... if I do, it is only after a number of years, and under the request of ... not secrecy, but of a request to not go out and blab to the world, what my business is.  I have tried to open up more and allow people to see me, my past, my family... but it seems that 'friends' aren't so willing, even after saying they are going to respect my wishes and not go around and talk about me to everyone they meet.... to honor my friendship... You know, that old, I told her, who went and told her friend, who went to her BFF who went to her friend.... and I hear about it from her.... or my father in law.... Whatever the case might be.... I drop friends for that.
I also drop friends who judge me....
I dropped a friend who I really love in that special friend sort of way. Someone that I admired and really liked. ..... That was hard, but it was over the judgmental attitude... you know, that attitude of I know this is what you are thinking, because I am smart and I know this is your ulterior motive....
That was a tough one. .. I don't like to be told that I am something, when I am not. I don't like to be judged for being conservative or liberal... or in the middle of the road. I don't want to be told that I am something based on one statement that I make... You know... I just don't get people... they say they are very "tolerant" of this and that, yet when it comes right down to it.... they aren't.  They won't tolerate your opinion unless it is the same as theirs... I don't want to live in a world where people are all the same... how boring if you both like the same movies, think the same thoughts, walk lockstep...
That's ok.  Drop me if you want... think what you want, but don't go of  on me, telling me that you know my heart... because unless you have known me for a very, very long time....you don't...
Even then.... you might not.... I am complex. I am me... don't try to make me out to be someone I am not or who you want me to be...

So...... off my soap box....

I have been going crazy, yes... very crazy, not being able to work. I try little things, but at least moving and cleaning have helped me stay busy, and I haven't had time to be too fidgety.
Today though, I wanted to take my son to hear Willie Robertson, from Duck Dynesty, speak at one of the local churches. We went out early but they were parked way out by the highway and down the farm to market road and I knew there was no chance for us to get in... so we were going to wait for the second program, but I just got to the point I couldn't see any more... so I called a neighbor that I know would be going... and sent my son with them. He enjoyed it a lot, but I didn't want to try to go, the lights hurt my eyes so much and after driving into the sun and sitting in traffic, my eyes were too sore to think about going.... I used all my drops and ointments and had a lie down, and felt a bit better...

I have been so bored, terribly so when my son is gone.. I had a sweatshirt for my mom, I wanted to make it into a jacket seems like for ages, just never getting around to actually getting it out... I have just kept putting it away. I'm not in the painting mood, but since I have nothing else to do.... I got it out and started stenciling and stamping and painting...  I didn't have a plan, and I don't have any fabric in mind to use for the cuffs, etc... so I just started in with colors she likes. I should put a humming bird in, since she loves them so much, I'm not done, I can put in anything I want...
It is as ready as I want it to be, all that needs to be done is  to sew on the front facing, collar and cuffs, and cut out the bits and pieces that need to come out... I will just have to wait until another day to finish it... I am still off and on again about sewing. I don't want to sew my fingers so I'll wait until a day that I have more sight.


Waiting to be finished into a jacket

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